this one’s the real deal
(Warning: This post rivals Heather’s in length. Grab a smoothie or a cup of joe and get comfy before you embark on this journey. Please try and finish reading it. Please.)
Man. Man and dang. Those are two words I’ve used countless times over the past couple weeks. Here’s why.
A day or two after I turned in my two weeks notice at work, I sent an email to my Chinese contact asking him how things were coming on their end, and what all I needed to do on mine. He replied back informing me that the school I’m going to teach at cannot have me until January due to an Egyptian teacher whose contract doesn’t end until then. Apparently they cannot have multiple international teachers at once. He told me to stay tuned for more details.
Well at this point there were no shortage of thoughts racing through my head, battling for my attention. Those of you who know me well know that I’m a bit of a thinker, so you can imagine what my brain looked like at that point. Initially I wondered how long my foreign friend knew about said circumstance without telling me. Then I thought about what that meant for my trip. Then I started entertaining thoughts that had until that point only dwelt in the most precarious corners of my mind. (This is the part where the post starts getting significant).
From the time I’d committed to teaching overseas to approximately two weeks ago, I’d had, for lack of a better word, doubts about the whole situation. One of my main concerns was the fact that at no point in my decision making process prior to committing did I feel like the Lord had told me that He wanted me to be in China this school year. I made my decision to go and teach very much on a whim. For weeks I’d been thinking with a “why not?” mindset, and one morning I woke up, went to my computer and told the powers that be, “I’m in.” I didn’t really feel led to do it, I was just doing it. Make sense?
Remember how I had all those thoughts vying for my attention? Well the ones that were questioning whether or not China was where Father had me this year went from being suppressed and all-but-ignored to being legitimately considered. Do I really want to move to a place that Father hasn’t called me?
So this is what’s been going on in my head. The next day I received an update email saying that I may be able to teach in a different city (the province’s capital) for the first semester and then go to my original city in January. Later an email said that if I went to the capital city, that’d be a year commitment as well, which would at the very least postpone my going to City A, if not prevent it all together. One of my perceived problems with the capital city is the fact that it’s one of the most wealthy cities in China. This is probably selfish, but I don’t want to go serve overseas in a wealthy place. I’ve got that here.
My questioning of whether or not China was what Father had for me came to a point that I had to tell my Chinese contacts that what I was thinking. I told them, very honestly, that I was praying to see if the Lord really wanted me to go (or in their case, come) right now. They were supportive. Thus commencing two weeks that I did not enjoy. I sought the Lord with more energy and time than I had in a while. I spent time in the Word, in prayer, in simple meditation on things that the Lord’s revealed to me thus far in my walk, and seeking wise counsel. Those are good things. They’re more fun when you’re doing them “just ’cause”. They’re less fun when you’re doing them in order to make a decision that will potentially upset a handful of people a great deal.
One particular night, I had spent a lot of time praying and listening to the Spirit and I felt led to write down a list of things that I’m passionate about, things that I truly get excited about. Many of the things I wrote on that list I have no doubt came from the Lord. Some of them might not have. Either way, China and Chinese people didn’t make the list. That concerned me. It reminded me of a time when Jon (whom I love) lovingly pointed out to me that at no point in my talking about my upcoming trip to China did I sound very excited about it. I justified it and thought that upon arriving, I’d certainly be more excited about my situation. I may have been right. Still, it didn’t sit well with me.
I found out about four days ago that I was going to need to have made my decision by today, Friday the 27th. I went to bed last night not knowing what I was going to do. I woke up this morning, slightly upset that my dreams only involved kayaks in elaborate swimming pools and not a clear word from Father telling me “GO!” or “DON’T GO!”. But as a result of all my time spent in prayer, the Word, seeking counsel, and reflecting on previous lessons from Father, I decided to sit down at my computer and send an email to the appropriate people informing them that I would not be moving to China in August. That was a tough decision. It’s pretty humbling for a lot of reasons. I pressed send and got in my car to drive to my last day of work. Man.
So there’s that. That’s what’s been going on in my heart, mind, and spirit the past few weeks. It’s been crazy (that’s another word I’ve used a lot as of late). It hasn’t been entirely enjoyable, but I do think it’s been fruitful, and isn’t that always the case? Now this isn’t to say that I won’t be going back to China ever, it just means not yet. It also means that at least for a few more months, I’ll be living in the United States, of which I drew and labeled a map on the dry erase board at work, posted above.
Thank you so much to those of you who’ve prayed for me the past couple weeks. Thanks also to those who would have prayed if they’d known, but because I didn’t tell them were left uninformed until now. Thanks for caring enough about me (or just being bored enough) to have read this far in what looks to be one of the longest posts in online diary for the masses history. So comment away, and please keep in mind that this post, though long, isn’t the exhaustive recount of the past two weeks. More thoughts went into my decision than I’ve explained. You’re probably glad I didn’t include them. Thanks again for reading.
coming soon…
In the very near future I will be constructing and publishing a post that is of much greater significance than most of what I’ve offered my readers lately. I have not the time to do it now (as I must drive to work for my last day), but know that it’s coming soon. In the mean time, feel free to guess the topic via your comments. Rule: if you already know, then don’t guess.
cnn youtube debates
As I type this blog I’m sitting in my super-comfy La-z-boy watching the debates that share a name with the title of this entry. It’s brought about tons of thoughts, including “I could blog about this.” Ultimately I thought, “I’ll blog about it while I’m thinking about it.” So, here are some thoughts:
- This is one of the greatest ideas I’ve seen carried out in a while. Utilizing the immense popularity of youtube to facilitate an avenue for common (and internet savvy) Americans to ask politicians exactly what they want to know… brilliant. Also, well carried out.
- I love Anderson Cooper.
- Some of these questions are truly hilarious, which is great, because we get to see these politicians — who are rarely, if ever, authentic when in front of cameras — laugh. It catches them off guard. I like that.
- I’m pretty sick of debates, interviews, etc. with politicians who dance around the questions they’re asked with an eloquent rhetoric that says close to nothing, and doesn’t answer the question that prompted their professionally delivered monologue. They’ll be asked a very cut and dry, yes/no question, and they’ll say well over 100 words without answering it. So, I propose that we have a CNN/YouTube/D.O./Yes/No debate, where candidates can only be asked yes/no questions, and the only words they’re allowed to say are “yes” and “no.”
- None of the candidates have bad teeth.
- Typing this post makes me kind of miss, though not enough to resurrect, Jiffy News. (The link won’t work, I just did it for old time’s sake).
- John Edwards reminds me of the secretary guy on NBC’s 30 Rock, big time. Click the links, but if it’s way funnier if you hear them talk.
- Edwards and Clinton just answered a question with “yes” and “sure”, respectively. I loved it.
- It’s crazy how early we’re early the 2008 Election is starting.
- The last question was “Look at the person on your left and say one thing you like and one think you dislike about them.” Good question. Wasn’t exactly answered that well, kinda funny, not too serious, nevertheless, good question.
So there are some of the thoughts I had on the CNN/YouTube debates. The democrats were tonight, the republicans will be Monday, September 17th. I like it. You probably don’t care.
saturdays
I feel like most of the American population look forward with great anticipation for their weekly Saturday. Saturday allows them the luxury of sleeping in a little bit, taking it easy, and simply not having to go to work. I realize that all my parent readers are begging to differ with me at this point. They have kids to run entertain or drive all over the city on Saturdays. But still, you don’t have to go to work.
Well I do. I work every Saturday. The fact that most people do not have to work on Saturday is the very reason that I do. People want to go spend their hard earned money on the things that the retailers of America sell. And they spend it well. That isn’t to say they spend it wisely, but they’re good at spending it.
Saturdays at work are when the worst case scenarios usually happen. Five fitting rooms stay occupied long enough to prevent others from using them and you from cleaning them out. Four different people want four different things and three-fourths of them are mad at you for not giving them your full attention. Three set of people (only one of which was included in the afore mentioned foursome) have been let down by your having to inform them that you don’t have the item they want in their size. Two kids are running in and out of your fixtures knocking clothes off while they play an eternal game of tag. One couple from any given affluent neighborhood comes in and wants you to hold their hand while you tell them what they need for their trip, and then they tell you you’re wrong.
That’s how I feel about Saturdays at work.
However, the city of Addison (as suburb just northwest of Dallas) has put on a delightful community event called July Jazz that has for two weeks now allowed me ample opportunity to wind down after a long day at work. These jazz nights at the park are truly enjoyable. If you like music, then you (in my opinion) inevitably must at least appreciate jazz, and they’ve got you covered on that front. If you like people watching (I’m unaware of many who don’t), there are countless people of all ages, with all kinds of dogs, drinking a myriad of drinks for you to enjoy looking at. Hundreds. If you like being outside and battling mosquitoes, you can do that in Addison too!
The music plays from 8:00-10:00 at which point the band, along with most of the people you were just watching, leave for the night. But we don’t. Me and my friends (and the random people that always end up sharing our blankets) choose to stay and enjoy one another. We do it like the Chinese people do. No hurry, no agenda, just enjoying community. One thing we do while enjoying one another is to make a grass pile on my head. You may recall seeing it at the beginning of this long post.
Whenever we do finally leave the grassy knoll of downtown Addison, we usually go to IHOP or some other 24 hour establishment to get ice cream. We then sit at that restaurant’s table until the wee hours of the morning (2:00 or 3:00am), again, enjoying one another. It is a very good thing.
So thanks to Addison for putting on such a pleasant event, thanks to Colby for telling me about it in the first place, thanks to my awesome friends who come hang out, and most importantly thank you Father for letting us enjoy things in general.
you heard it here first
Remember me? I’m the Bum Drum! You might recall the time long ago when I posted an entry on Josh Langston’s late blog. I know, you probably don’t remember. To some of you, that name Josh Langston may ring a bell way back in the depths of your memory, others will just see it as a nice sounding name. He’s real nice actually, and he used to sit his nice little tush on me and play me to accompany the now immeasurably famous Lindsey Kane. She doesn’t need us anymore… but that’s not the purpose of this post.
I took over D.O.’s lame blog to inform you of a blog that has the potential to surpass any blog you’ve ever come across (save of course Heather’s, whose popularity would be matched only if Father himself started a blog). Mr. Josh Langston has in fact resurrected his blog! Can you believe it? If you answered yes, you’re lying. That link I gave you at the beginning of the post… it’s old. I was teasing you. All you really need is this one. It’ll take you to the same place you’d go if you clicked “Joshua Langston” in the sidebar of D.O.’s blog (for future reference). Feel free to join Josh as he abandons me, his formerly beloved drum, and he embarks on a journey called medical school and marriage. Good stuff friends. Go! Read! Learn! Rejoice!
perfection
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uX3i7JSagDU]If you’ve ever spoken with me for more than, oh, five minutes, then you’ve probably heard about my roommates from college. I love them. One of them is Colby Ivey. I love him. I’d like for my sister to marry him. He lost a farkle (paper, rock, scissors) in Colorado and had to do this. Enjoy the video. Enjoy it multiple times. I did.
the new machine: 2nd mvt.
Remember way back to July 2nd when I wanted to cuss at my computers and their inability to transfer files? Well fear not because the temptation has left my presence. I was able to figure out my problem. Though I ended up not needing it, thank you so much, Thomas, for offering your services.
This is where my normal readers quit reading and my curious quasi-geeky readers read on.
How I fixed the problem. Apparently using Windows Easy Transfer is not the easiest way to transfer files. I opted to use a different program, one that came with the transfer cable (thanks again to Laura). I’d tried using that program before but gave up when it proved unable to have the two computers recognize each other. At one point this was the problem with both programs. Then I tried — as a last ditch effort — switching the transfer cable around. Unplugging what was in my old compy and putting it in the new one, and visa versa. Somehow that worked. Upon having the computers recognize each other, I was lost in my excitement and I failed to recall that I had an option other than Easy Transfer. Thank you Laplink PCsync. You’re good.
the new machine
Well this is my first post that my new machine’s ever produced. It looks like that. It was a ridiculously nice present from my folks. They love giving me stuff I don’t need. They love.
I’ve not yet said goodbye to my old machine however. I’ve been with her for five years now. She wrote every college paper I ever submitted, every journal entry I ever typed for the past half-decade. She houses every picture I’ve taken on my digital camera and every song I’ve purchased over the past 20 years. Even though she’s done all those things, I’m not emotionally attached to her. That’s not my reason for keeping her around. It’s more of an issue her inability to take said documents and move them to the machine in my lap right now.
This is where my normal readers quit reading and my helpful quasi-geeky readers read on.
I’ve had a ridiculous time trying to transfer files from my old computer (XP) to this one (Vista). I’ve installed “Windows Easy Transfer” on both machines, acquired an Easy Transfer Cable from Laura (thanks), and reached the point where the computers recognize that the other exist. When I start the file transfer process, before a single file is actually moved, while the program is 89% into determining the size of files to be moved, Windows informs me that an unknown error has occurred and that Easy Transfer needs to be closed. This is enough to drive a man to cuss.
I’ve read everything Microsoft’s support has to offer on this issue, and I’ve yet to come across anyone who’s had this same issue. I emailed the folks at Microsoft and they were kind enough to send me the links to all the pages I’ve already read. More temptation to cuss. So needless to say, this has been a frustrating process. I just want my pictures and music on the ol’ laptop. Is that too much to ask?
So anybody got any suggestions? Thomas? Mikey? Random reader that doesn’t normally post comments but obliges for such a time as this?