making “no” hard to say
Neil Sedaka once penned the profound realization that breaking up is hard to do. If you want to read about the ins and outs of breaking up and other things pertaining to relationships and their implicit complexities, may I refer you to Heather’s current series on the matter. Her writings on such things allow me the opportunity to write about something else. (I know this may disappoint many who were turning to odfm for relational counseling… my apologies.) In this case, that “something else” just happens to be something that Heather suggested I write about, for the edification of… most.
There are a lot of things in life that are really quite easy to say “no” to, especially when a complete stranger is the one doing the asking. If a total stranger came up to you and asked you politely, (as opposed to with the help of a handgun) for your wallet or purse, you’d say “no” with equal politeness and without thinking twice. And if an totally unknown person asked you for $250 so that they could buy a bus ticket to California, perhaps you’d think a little, and then you’d say “no” (again, politely, because odfm readers are polite). What if a man who you’ve never seen or talked to before came up to you and asked you to tickle him? I imagine you’d say “no” before he could even put the question mark on his inquiry.
So what might one tack on to these and other outlandish solicitations to make “no” a difficult response? One particular Bryan/College Station man has figured this out, and he’s using it to take advantage of countless unassuming do-gooders in the area. He preceeds these and other requests with “I’m going to kill myself…”
[This isn't a joke. This guy has been doing this for at least 6 years that I'm aware of. This is a Public Service Annoucement of sorts. This man has taken advantage of no less than 5 of my friends, and this is my attempt to keep you from being next.]
Any decent human being, and especially any Christian (who this guy tends to target) would have a near impossible time blatantly saying “no” to, and dismissing, a guy who tells you in his introductory paragraph that he’s very seriously suicidal. I’m writing to inform that this guy is a fraud (as is evidenced by his still being alive 6 years later), and to save you the money and awkwardness that he’ll try and take from you. Tickling a grown man who you’ve never before met is quintessential awkward.
His name is usually something that starts with the letter “j”. Jay, J.R., and J.D. are all names I’ve known him to use. He’s a 5′9″, 150 lbs, 40 to 50 year-old African American man, last time I saw him (I’m sure he’s still black, I’m just not sure on his weight these days). He’ll approach you and within a few sentences will tell you of his suicidal intentions and before too long he’ll ask you to tickle him (that’s the tell-tale sign, and again, this is not a joke).
So how should we go about dealing with this guy? Well, I submit that we should love him. Does that mean that we tickle him or give him large (or small, for that matter) sums of money? No, pretty sure it doesn’t. But I do think we should try and leave the door open for future dialogs with him, in order that we might share the relentless love of Jesus with him. So if you happen to be the next one he targets, and you’re a male (ladies, let the guys handle this one, please), learn from other’s mistakes before you and use your discernment along with the Spirit’s guiding in dealing with him.
I could go on with specifics of this particular character and ways he’s manipulated me and my friends, but this is already pretty long and I’ve still got to give an obligatory disclaimer about how I don’t hate needy people. Hope you consider yourself warned and semi-well-informed.
Obligatory Disclaimer on How I Don’t Hate Needy People: Please don’t read this and think that I’m somehow anti-helping people’s physical needs. I’m not. In fact, I’m all for helping folks who are less fortunate, lonely, down-and-out, homeless, and any other human who is breathing and in need. Truly, I am. I’m less in favor of people who’s sole source of survival is taking advantage of people. As much as I’d enjoy you having an adequate view of my perceptions of “needy” folks, I’d enjoy even more you not getting taken advantage of by this or any other guy. Ok, end disclaimer.
The Station: Luther division, et al
Some of you will undoubtedly appreciate these photos more than others. For those who don’t really know the significance of the two houses pictured above, maybe we can go have coffee (I’ll have water, thanks) and I can explain how influential those structures — and the events that transpired within –were in shaping me to become the person who you’re having coffee/water with. Actually, can we go have ice cream instead? I’ll pay.
I doubt I’ll ever get around to posting an adequate report of my current College Station visit (I tried twice in the past hour and both times failed miserably), but suffice it to say that I’ve met with many, many people who are absolutely beautiful in every sense of the word — and I’m not an exaggerating. The type of people who you want to take with you everywhere you go. People whose houses you don’t want to leave. People who let me call them friend, and who call me friend, despite my immense unworthiness of the title.
If I have hung out with/eaten with/talked to/hugged/seen you during this particular trip to the Station, rest assured that I am, in fact, talking about you. I’ve been unbelievably encouraged by each of you over these past few days, and I truly do count myself severely blessed to have you folks in my life.
And to you, wooden Texas flag, you make my heart just about as warm as the people I addressed above do.
Texas: Where the tea is sweet.
I love Taco Bueno. When they built one within walking distance to my apartment in Dallas last year, I ate there at least once a week. Philly hasn’t yet come to its senses and built a Bueno inside itself, so needless to say finding a Bueno was a high priority upon returning to Texas. And find a Bueno I did. That Chilada Platter with no guacamole and a sweet tea was an absolute delight (even though they forgot to give me chips). Other notable Texas resturaunt visits are both Cheddar’s and Chic-fil-A.
Equally delightful was walking into my bedroom and picking up Tara, who I dearly missed while in the Northeast. Tara is my guitar you see, and she and I have had some precious moments these past few days. We’ve had so much fun that I’ve neglected (so far) playing my keyboard. Never fear little keyboard, your time is rapidly approaching.
Not only have local resturaunts and musical instruments bid me a hearty “welcome home”, nature has played its roll too. I’m currently typing this post to the sounds of a flash flood beating on the roof of a house in the Station, and last night I enjoyed something very dear to my heart that I missed in Philly: a sunset. Sure, I’ve already sweat more than all my Philly sweat combined, and I’ve been rubbing my itchy eyes more than in previous months, but it’s a small price to pay for being in the land you love.
And as if the blessings just can’t stop flowing, I was able to make it to a particular house this evening that held a meeting of people who are dearer to my heart than my own blood cells: my Hope group. (Hope group’s are Living Hope’s way of saying home group, small group, cell group, life group… whatever.) I doubt I’ll ever attend that meeting without being encouraged and having my fill of the finest in sweet tea.
For the curious types, let me give you a little idea of what I’m up to now that I’m back. As you know from paragraph three of this post, I’m currently in College Station. The primary reason I’m here is to take a test which will put me one step closer to becoming a certified teacher. Yes, a teacher. That’s what I’m planning on doing next year, and in the Dallas area, no less. I’m sure there’ll be plenty more info on that in future posts, so I’ll leave it at that for now.
The secondary (but in no way less significant) reason I’m here is to see/hug/be with my beloved CS family. If you’re a person in the Station you aren’t sure if I count you as “my beloved CS family”… well you do*. And I want to see you. I’ll be here for about a week, so get to the phones and call me (blog comments will also be accepted). What better way to spend a study break than to waste time with D.O.?… Never mind. Don’t answer that. Call me anyway. I’ll let you buy me lunch.
Texas: Thanks for the warm (no pun intended) welcome. I love you.
*That is, you probably do. If I don’t answer your call and you don’t receive a phone call back, you might not belong to said family. I recommend that you try calling anyway. It’s worth a shot, eh?
Philly: closing thoughts
Yesterday I got back from my visit to DC after a three hour bus ride which spent listening to a Brit and an Aussie talk the entire time. Since arriving, all of my time (save the trip to Pat’s) has been spent putting together some of the shots I took in DC and posting them on my flickr page. So I’d appreciate it if you’d give those a look. When you’re done, come back here and see what I’ve got to say about Philly.
[the masses enjoy D.O.'s Washington DC photos...]
Today is my last full day in the city of brotherly love. I’ve got a busy week or so starting tomorrow so I thought I’d take this opportunity and share some of my closing thoughts on Philadelphia. I’ll divide the review of my time spent in this city into two categories: work and non-work. In the “work” category, I’ll not mention or link to any names of people or companies because some of the things I have to say about them aren’t pleasant, and I know they search blogs in order to see what people are saying about them. If you’re new here, or you’ve just not been paying attention, you can read about the internship I’m talking about here. Ok, ready? Here we go.
Work:
I liken the work experience I just finished to the feeling you get when you are extremely hot, tired, and thirsty, you reach for a glass of water, and after you’ve taken a few sips, you realize it’s not water, it’s Sprite. Throw into that metaphor that you stopped drinking carbonated beverages 10 years ago, so your palate isn’t used to the tinglies. Then add two tablespoons of salt to the Sprite. That’s how this internship felt. It was a series of unmet expectations that led to a pretty tough season in D.O. world.
I thought coming in that I’d be working for a Christian company (seeing how the product they sell is, for all intents and purposes, Christian). I found out less than a week in that this was absolutely not the case. My boss (and co-founder of a group of people who until recently I very much admired) isn’t a Christian, and doesn’t even claim to be. I’m not saying I hate non-Christians, I’m just saying, I thought I was reaching for water… I thought I’d be working with like-minded people who were doing Kingdom things. At best it turned out that I was working with people who were kind of doing Kingdom things, but don’t love, serve, or know the King.
So some of you who know the company I worked for and know a certain author who is affiliated with it are probably thinking at this point, “wait, what? Surely the guy who wrote that book that you loved so much is a believer, right?” Yes. He is. However, it turns out that some of the stories he told in said book are a bit exaggerated and obviously misleading. Nobody who read that book finished it and thought that the group discussed in it weren’t believers. (I know this may be hard to follow, but again, I’m not going to mention any names.)
Also, it turned out that 99% of the work I did (and I say that just to be safe, though I’m pretty sure 100% wouldn’t be lying) could have very easily been done without ever coming to Philly. I could have received a single email no longer than this post that would have adequately described what my responsibilities were. In short, I thought most* of my internship was a giant waste of time, something that I’d leave off my resume if it hadn’t been 8 months since my last job.
Now I know at this point some of you folks will say, “I can’t wait to comment and tell him that his internship wasn’t a waste of time”… You’re welcome to leave such a comment, but I’d ask that you spare me. I’m not saying the entire Philly experience was a waste of time, I am saying that the time spent in that office was. Sure, I learned how not to manage people and how not to lead, but I’ve been learning that since I got my first job at Six Flags. Nothing new there.
So all in all, the internship and the company for which I interned was nothing like what I expected it to be. I felt like a certain book and this company’s affiliation therein led me rightly to my expectations, and apparently I was wrong.
Ok. Deep breath.
*all
Non-Work:
Everything in Philly that had nothing to do with my job was excellent.
Community: It took all of about 2 months to get plugged in to a body of believers here. I’d say the same thing took place (to a lesser degree) in Dallas over a 9 month period. I was extremely blessed in that regard. I was able to go to a solid small group meeting my very first week here, and the people who make up that group are absolutely precious to me, and they are the ones who I will think about (fondly, I might add) when I look back on my time spent here.
Weather: I successfully survived a winter in a city where they actually have winter. I’ve seen colors and symbols on my desktop weather indicator that I’ve never seen before. I’ve come to the conclusion that I still like cold weather, but snow really serves no purpose in the city (save entertainment for deserving children).
Public Transportation: Probably my second favorite thing to small group. It was actually like a separate small group, full of people who know each other but don’t know each other’s names. I had a heart-felt good-bye with one of my morning driver whose name I never got. I love public transit.
Beauty: You don’t really get to see beauty in the form of sunsets or fields of trees and flowers here, but it does exist. It lives in the murals and the blossoming trees of Spring. It thrives in the way a baby brightens everyone’s face on the bus when it is brought on. It smells like laundry when you’re walking home from the bus stop, or a freshly lit fireplace which you pass. It’s not absent from the city-life, it just manifests itself in very different ways. Just as I grew up not appreciating the trees new colors in Fall, I’m sure the beauty that lives in the city goes unnoticed for many. Is it beautiful enough for me to stay in Philly? I’m afraid not.
Convenience: One good thing about Philly (and cities like it) is how close everything is. I was able to walk to just about every place I ever needed to go. Sometimes these walks would take hours, but still, it was possible. This isn’t exactly a luxury in the burbs, and it’s certainly not a possibility on the farm.
Food: I wouldn’t know. I went out to eat twice here over a period of four months. The internship mentioned above didn’t pay. I’m sure it’s good though.
So in conclusion, my internship was terrible, and Philly was good. They balanced each other out, and for that I’m very thankful. Tomorrow I fly to Texas where I’m planning on spending the next year or so. I’ll expound on that sentence in another post. This one’s already too long. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed the pictures and were able to endure my ranting.
D.O. in D.C.
As of 5:30 EST on Wednesday, April 9th, I officially finished with my internship. I will write a full report of my thoughts on the internship in the future, but first I think a visit to the nation’s capital is in order. I’ll hop on yet another Chinatown bus (the only way to travel in the Northeast), only this time it’ll take me South, through Baltimore to Washington D.C. I’ve got some pretty big things lined up for this trip, about which I cannot go into detail now, but suffice it to say I’ll be going where I’m sure you’ve never been. Even those of you who’ve visited D.C. before…
After the festivities in D.C. and a few final moments in Philly, I’ll be boarding a plane which will take me back to the Lone Star State. I’ll share more details about that in the near future as well, as there seems to be a little confusion as to where in said state I’ll be. I could easily tell you in a single sentence, but that’s pretty limited in scope, so you’ll have to wait. But the chances are, if you’re in TX, you’ll be seeing me sometime within the next month.
So until I report back with a picture of the President and I shaking hands, feel free to leave a million comments. Or don’t. You should at least click on the map above and (for my faithful Texas readers) notice that for me to get to D.C. I’ll be going through 3 states (PA, MD, DE) and traveling 50 less miles than I would be if I were driving from Houston to San Antonio. I’m so proud of my big home state.
your next favorite band
This past weekend I was absolutely blessed with the opportunity of going out to Phoenixville, PA for a Sleeping at Last show, complete with a string sextet. It was, in a word, unbelievable.
[note: I often link to things in my posts, and rarely are they as worthy of your click as the one you just went by without clicking. Go back, click, and prepare yourself for one of the finest pieces of web-design either side of the Mississippi.]
The three members of Sleeping at Last don’t know it, but they’ve kept me sane throughout many trying moments over these past few months. I’ve listened to their albums 20 times each since arriving (thank you iTunes play count), and I’ll gladly listen 20 more.
So consider this your latest band recommendation from D.O., and after you fall in love with them, keep an eye their tour calendar, because they’re currently making the rounds on the Eastern half of the US. There aren’t presently any TX dates, but Chad (drummer) told me they were going to be swinging through the Empire Wide and Glorious* in May. This is good news, as I’ll be back in time to see them yet again on this tour (sans-strings, unfortunately).
If you’d like to see a few more pics from this and other happenings I’ve been experienced since arriving here, I recently updated my flickr page for your enjoyment. Many, many thanks go to Stacy for enduring the hour-long drive that put me in the building where these guys were playing. I give you five dad points.
*From the final line of the first verse of Texas’ state song.
the newest holiday
Two years ago today I blogged about the lunch bag I’d been using for the better portion of my college career. Well I’m proud to say that today, exactly two years later, I’m still using the same bag on a regular basis as a means of transporting my lunch from the house to where ever I find myself at lunch time.
Back then I dismissed myself as a “pseudo-conservationist” and a “false-environmentalist”. Well not today friends. It is clear today, two years later (and keep in mind that the bag initially used circa 2003), that I deserve a place among the greats of preservatoin, conservation and environmentalism alike.
John Muir, Henry David Thoreau, Al Gore and I will find ourselves on the same page of my grandchildren’s history books. The chances are high, in fact, that the very picture you see before you will also appear in many-a-textbook. By the time my grandkids are in school, there will be a required class called conserpresenvironmention, and the authors of this important cirriculum’s textbook will no doubt ask me for the rights to use this photo. (Fellow conserpresenvironmention academicians, if you’re reading this in the year 2070, the answer is yes, you may use my picture.) My grandkids will be more popular than Chealsea Clinton’s!
So henceforth April 4th will be known as National Conserpresenvironmention Day. I declare it. Call your Congressmen and Mayors. Feel free to hold neighborhood parties, and if you do, send me pictures. Merry Conserpresenvironmetion Day!
You Decide 2008: Results
Unless you live under a rock, on Mars, or you’ve failed to take my advice and get yourself an rss reader, then you know that yesterday was a big day here at online diary for the masses. For the first time in odfm history (and D.O. history for that matter), I extended an opportunity for you to decide my next facial hairdo. I gave you twelve utterly unsightly options, and you chose which one you wanted to see on my face.
The turnout for yesterday’s poll (another first at odfm) was just monumental. An unprecedented twenty people showed up at their local computers to submit up to three votes each (these twenty people accounted for 29% of yesterday’s total visitors). Thirty eight total votes were cast, and after all was said and done, there seemed to be a clear winner.
What you may or may not have realized though, is that yesterday was April Fool’s Day. (It was also my wonderful parent’s 30th wedding anniversary, which is awesome, but beside the point at hand.) So all day long while the masses were hurrying to connect to the Internet to ensure that they were able to cast their votes, I was at work thinking about how much colder my face was and how hardly any food was stuck to my beard. That’s right. I’d already shaved. I shaved back on March 29th. So… April Fool’s!
Now I ask that you not get mad, feeling as though I’ve betrayed my beloved reader’s trust. That is not the case. I simply wanted to join the ranks of Internet heroes such as Google in hosting a little April Fool’s prank of my own. And trust me, this was the least painful of the options I had in mind.
But all was not lost. Like I said, I did indeed shave, and I also left some hair on my face for good measure. Ladies, eat your hearts out. Gentlemen, it’s okay to be jealous. All, I give you… The Handlebars (Timeless Edition):
Again, please do not feel betrayed by this harmless little joke. Take heart in knowing that I’m walking around the hood of Philly looking like the truest of all gangsta’s (nothing screams street-cred like a red mustache). And also find solace in the fact that I hereby promise that never again will I (intentionally) lead you astray here at odfm… unless it’s another day whose date is April 1.
You Decide 2008: Facial Hair Edition
Regardless of the state you in which you reside (last time I checked odfm boasts readers from over 30 of them), you have no doubt been inundated over the past few months with media telling you about the upcoming Presidential Election. Some of you probably can’t wait for all the election talk to be over, others love it. Others still might be so into the year-long election season that they frequent John McCain’s daughter’s blog.
Well today — and today only — it matters not whether you love or hate politics, election-saturated media, and talk about Obama’s former reverend. That’s right. Today, a different election matters. The vote(s) you cast today will make a profound impact on the citizens of the United States. Today, for the first time in all of history, you can vote to decide what I, D.O. (founder and chief contributor, online diary for the masses), do with my beard.
Those of you who’ve been around me and my facial hair for the past few years know that when the time comes for a shave (once every three or four times a year), I usually have a little fun with the hairy canvas that is my face. The options are endless. I thought about the best way to conduct such a poll on a blog and I came up with 12 different options for which you can vote, and they are as follows:
(Click image to enlarge)
1. The Youth Minister
2. The General
3. The Fu Manchu
4. The General Fu Manchu
5. The Muttonchops
6. The Jessie
7. The Neard
8. The Anti-Sideburn
9. The Jason Kewl
10. The Half-Beard
11. The Side-Mustache
12. The Handlebars (Timeless Edition)
So here’s how the vote will work. I’m only going to have the poll open for 24 hours, so make sure you vote NOW to ensure that you don’t miss your chance. You may select up to three different options. You are welcome to comment your life away in the comments section of this post, but only votes cast in the actual poll will be counted. Whichever option receives the most votes will be my next facial hairdo. It’s as easy as that. So without further unnecessary explanation, fulfill your responsibility as a US citizen (illegal aliens welcome to participate too), and VOTE!
Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.