facebook etiquette: applications
Facebook etiquette, lesson five.
Adding applications is one of the primary ways people customize their facebook profiles. There are thousands and thousands of different applications from which users can choose. No problem exists in simply adding an application or two to your profile, however it is imperative that applications be added in moderation. And if you are going to abandon what glimmers of moderation you possess when it comes to adding applications, at least set it up so that they aren’t all displayed on your profile.
One of the tackiest things I can recall seeing in all my time on the Internet was the facebook profile of a girl who had no less than 35 different applications. It took several minutes of scrolling on the wheel of my mouse to reach the bottom of her page where her wall was buried under a mountain of unnecessary applications.
Just as one must use discernment in how many applications they add to their pages, so too they must use discernment in inviting friends (especially friends who they don’t really know) to use those applications. No I do not want to add Monsters or Goblins or lil’ Green Patch applications. Senseless facebook users abuse this rule, tirelessly. The girl mentioned above has so offended me by the vomit-esque look of her profile and the tackiness of her application suggestions, she has since been forever removed from my facebook friendship.
So, easy on asking your friends to join you in your poor taste in application choices.
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And with that, you’ve successfully finished D.O.’s course in facebook etiquette. In case you missed a lesson, here’s the recap:
And depending on the response to this series of posts (millions of hits? thousands of comments? a few book offers?) there may be more of these types of posts to come in the future.
Now go, log in to your facebook and take confidence in your actions. If you’ve not yet joined facebook, do so today and start acting properly right off the bat. It won’t go unnoticed, at least not by me.
facebook etiquette: messaging
Facebook etiquette, lesson four.
Messaging is facebook’s version of email. No one can see the messages you write except the recipient… unless you fail to properly reply to the very well-known “I’m-getting-married-and-I-need-your-address” or “I-dropped-my-phone-in-the-toilet-again-and-I-need-your-number” messages — possibly the most common of all broken facebook etiquette actions.
Not only is this unwritten facebook standard so commonly broken, it is also uncannily easy to break, because the way facebook has their messaging set up. As it is, when you click to reply in the box below the mass message you just received, it defaults to sending that message to everyone who originally received it, not just the sender.
So what do you do? To reply only to the address/phone-number-needer, just click “reply” beneath their name in the message (directly left of the message body). This way only they will get it. And this should be done regardless of if you’re concerned with other people seeing your addy or digits. It is courteous to other facebook users to do so because it prevents them logging in, seeing the “Inbox 1″ in the header, and being sorely disappointed to find that it is nothing other than a random person’s street address.
Ladies, it is wise to make a special effort to avoid replying to all in situations like these, to ensure that no creepy guy on that mass recipient list ends up with your address.
As is true with any form of communication, it is in keeping with proper etiquette to reply to messages when appropriate. However, it is less of an offense to not reply to a facebook message than to not reply to an email. That doesn’t mean you should ignore all of your facebook messages and the requests and inquiries therein, but it does mean that if you want to ensure something gets addressed, press Ctrl+T (or Command+T) and compose an email. Don’t have that person’s email? Yes you do. You’re on facebook.
Tomorrow’s lesson: applications.
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Just hopped on the etiquette fun-van? Here’s the stops you’ve missed:
facebook etiquette: chatting
Facebook etiquette, lesson three.
Chatting, like wall posting, is relatively easy to avoid botching up.
As is the theme in nearly all facebook faux pas, chat misconduct most often occurs in the boy/girl relationships. Because facebook chatting is arguably the least personal of all forms of communication, guys typically take full advantage of using it to talk to girls with whom they’d otherwise be afraid to converse. While logical, this mentality is also quite childish.
I’ve heard several girls complain about boys who refuse to stop chatting with them every time they sign on to facebook. It is important for the guys executing these persistent (read: annoying) chat attempts to know that they aren’t doing themselves any favors and the girls are not impressed. This problem can be solved, from the girl’s perspective, in a couple of ways: either don’t sign in to chat at all, or refuse to reply to the pushy (creepy) boy’s chat attempts. He’ll just think you aren’t there, or even better, he’ll get a clue.
Another great way to break proper chat conduct would be to add someone as a friend that you now know you weren’t supposed to add in the first place (remember yesterday’s lesson?), then proceed to engage in chats with them on a regular basis. Chances are they’ll quickly regret having accepted your friend request.
Both of those mishaps fail to amount to the atrocity that is asking a girl out on facebook chat (or on her wall, or in messaging). This is nothing other than unacceptable. Man up. Please. And girls, maybe you need to woman up and refuse the requests of little boys who ask you out on facebook. Don’t validate their weak ways and their setting the how-to-pursue-girls bar so low.
Now, this isn’t to say that there are no times when chatting on facebook is appropriate. There are times, like when you’re on break at work, but it is important that one uses discretion in utilizing this relatively new (and arguably unnecessary) facebook feature.
Tomorrow’s lesson: messaging.
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Just hopped on the etiquette fun-van? Here’s the stops you’ve missed:
facebook etiquette: friend adding
Facebook etiquette class, session two.
Friend adding may seem like a topic that needs no addressing, but that couldn’t be further from true, as it is abused on a regular basis.
There are, of course, times when it is absolutely acceptable to add a friend. For example, a co-worker may have recently joined facebook. Or maybe a new friend of a friend has been hanging out with your group lately. Even coming upon close high school friends can be an acceptable time to click “Add as Friend.”*
Conversely, there are certainly times when adding someone as a friend is just uncalled for. The worst of these is adding someone who you’ve never met in your life (regardless of how many mutual friends you have). Just because someone pops up in the “People You May Know” sidebar doesn’t give you the liberty to add them. And if you are so licentious as to add someone you don’t know, don’t you dare be upset when they ignore your friend request. They did the right thing.
Another serious offense to friend adding etiquette is adding people you met one night, and very well may never see again. This mainly applies to single college and post-college kids. They are especially prone to get “add happy” after an enjoyable night with new (cute) people. If you are going to add the ten new people you’ve just met, at least be decent enough to wait until a day or two after the fact. Coming home to a friend request from someone you just left hanging out with is a little much.
There are also some areas in the realm of friend adding in which the jury is still out. One particular area is that of girls adding guys they don’t know very well. This is especially questionable when done the night of or the day following their initial meeting in person.
Another gray area in the friend adding realm is asking people their full names when meeting them in person with the sole purpose of using that information to find them on facebook. Facebook is certainly a valid avenue through which people can connect with one another, but users must be wise in making sure they don’t abuse this excellent resource. If it seems creepy, it probably is. If you don’t think any of the points addressed seem creepy, then chances are you’re creepy.
Lastly, a topic that is both related and entirely opposed to friend adding: friend removing. This is a pretty big deal in an age where facebook friendships=real friendships. Acceptable times to remove friends are:
- Realizing you had a lapse in judgment and accepted a friend request from someone you didn’t know at all or haven’t seen since you first met
- In the unfortunate event of someone doing one of your boys (or girls) very, very dirty
- The person you’re removing sends you several requests a day for friend suggestions and applications (to be discussed on Friday).
Tomorrow’s lesson: chatting.
*This really should be used in moderation… I have no desire to be friends with most of the 800+ people in my graduating class.
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Just hopped on the etiquette fun-van? Here’s the stops you’ve missed:
facebook etiquette: wall posting
Welcome to facebook etiquette class. In case you missed it, this class was introduced last week. That said, let’s begin.
Wall posting is, in essence, facebook’s equivalent of text messaging; the primary difference being that, in wall posting, everybody can read what you just “texted” the recipient. Now, it’s pretty easy to go about your facebook life without botching up any wall posting etiquette guidelines, and no doubt there are countless examples of appropriate times to write on people’s walls: happy-birthday’s, good-seeing-you-last-night’s, hey-fool-remember-when’s, let’s-do-lunch’s, and beaucoups more.
So what types of wall posts are to be avoided? Well let’s say you are Person A and you want to write on Person B’s wall. Keeping in mind the fact that every one of Person B’s facebook friends can see what you write, it would be in good taste to avoid writing something like:
“oh gurl i had SoOo much fun last nite! i was 4 real like rotfl when u punched that 1 gurl n the face when she pushed u in the pool! lol. LaTeRz!!”
Posting something like that is embarrassing for everybody involved. You (Person A) just shared with hundreds of people both that Person B messed up last night, and that you have no capacity to write properly. Leave that disguting writing style for myspace.
Something else you really need to look out for when it comes to wall posting is this: if ever you look at somebody’s profile and realize that 8 of their last 10 wall posts were from you, then you’ve committed a fairly serious offense*. This is especially true when the person to whom you’ve been writing hasn’t written on your wall in return… it may be time to take a hint.
This particular problem will nearly always arise in single boy/girl facebook friendships, and it is in those relationships that proper facebook etiquette is paramount. Sadly though, it is also in those relationships that said etiquette is most often neglected.
One other possible way to make a slight fool of yourself in the wall posting world would be to write on your own wall, thinking that you are writing on someone else’s wall. You won’t receive any demerits for such a slip-up, but be ready for your friends to heap ridicule on you (and rightfully so).
Tomorrow’s lesson: friend adding.
*This is acceptable at times, for example, I can fill up Jon’s wall and he can fill up mine without defying any facebook rules.
facebook etiquette: intro
You’ve no doubt heard by now, at the very least, of the existence of facebook.com. It is the online social networking phenomena that has, in varying degrees of severity, affected the way people interact:
Gone are the days of boys having to actually flirt with a girl in person, because now he can cop out and use facebook chat (if he’s bold) or wall posts to accomplish the same end.
Employers are left with less to wonder about in regard to their prospective new hires, as they can simply take a look at an applicant’s facebook profile to get a better idea of who the job-seeker really is (or who they want fellow facebook users to think they are).
No longer are friends forced to call other friends to inform them of their new boyfriend/girlfriend, or even of their recent engagement, for facebook’s news feeds now accomplish what such phone calls once did.
With facebook now boasting over 110 million users, it seems fitting that there be a publication that lays out proper facebook etiquette, and as a self-proclaimed web savvy, appropriately mannered nerd, I think odfm is the perfect place for such a piece.
Beginning on Monday of next week, I will daily publish a post concerning a core function of facebook that has the potential to be abused.
The topics that will be addressed are as follows:
- Wall posting
- Friend adding
- Chatting
- Messaging
- Applications
Upon the week’s conclusion, if you abuse these functions, you will be held responsible. So brace yourself, read, learn, and when the time comes, if needed, change your erroneous ways.
October in Texas
Thanks again, White Rock Lake for existing, and thanks to REI for letting your employees enjoy free rentals.
on appreciating beauty, greatness…
About a year ago I heard a story on NPR about a project the Washington Post had recently conducted. The premise was both simple and brilliant: Have a world-class musician, wearing plain ol’ street clothes, play some of the finest music ever written on a multi-million dollar instrument in a busy Washington DC subway terminal… and see what happens.
They pulled off the experiment and video taped it with hidden cameras for, I’m sure, further analysis and fortunately for us, YouTube.
The violinist chosen to play for the commuting passers-by was international virtuoso, Joshua Bell. The opening piece: Bach’s “Chaconne” - widely held as one of the the most difficult violin pieces to master. The result is displayed below in time-lapse form for your convenience.
After all was said and done, Bell had played for 43 minutes for over 1,000 people and earned $32.17 (with $20 of that sum given by a single fan, the one at the end who recognized Bell). Fourty bucks an hour isn’t bad, unless you consider the fact that Bell sells out music halls in which the bad seats cost over $100.
When I first heard the story on my way home from work, and even more so upon seeing the video, I was overcome with disappointment in the people who blew by the renowned violinist without so much as a glance or a pause. How self-absorbed and unappreciative of beauty can we Americans be? How blinded and consumed by our schedules are we that we aren’t able to recognize when we’re in the presence of [musical] excellence?
I’ve since taken my thoughts on this matter deeper, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the way our society is set up is extremely inconducive to “stopping to smell the roses.” These people all had important government jobs to get to. There would doubtless be consequences for tardiness, so even if some of these people wanted to stop and enjoy the greatness in the plaza’s corner, they hardly could because of their jobs, the very thing that nightly puts bread on their tables.
So what solution do I have to offer a society of auto accident rubberneckers and artistic coldshoulderers? None really. I just hope that I’m able to continue living in a mindset that there is more to this life than the mundane routine whose end is a bimonthly paycheck. More to appreciate than that which is visible.
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
– from “Leisure,” by W.H. Davies
first day(s) of school: photos
Last time I was home home I took a series of chronologically displayed picture frames off the upstairs hallway wall and scanned their contents into digital perpetuity. Combined in the conglomerate above (which you can click to enlarge) is the result: All the first day of school pictures e’er taken of me during grade school.
Earlier today I uploaded each of these individually on facebook, complete with captions that I think even you non-facebookers can enjoy, but I thought I’d go ahead and share the complete collection here on odfm for those of you who aren’t yet (yes, yet) on the book.
I hope you enjoy looking at these pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them each August. Thanks Mom and Dad for your persistence. Had you missed even a single year this 6×2 grid would be incomplete.
challlaaunnnge!
I don’t know many people that are as dorky as I am, and as such I don’t expect this challaaunnnge to convert a large number of readers into participants, but I’m curious, so here it is.
Last week Heather posted about a website with a series of typing tests, and challenged her readers to take test number 26 to see if they could beat her impressive speed. Being the nerd that I am, I obliged without hesitation and within minutes I was hooked, unable to pull myself away from the single minute segments of typing about the honest shoemaker.
Now I’m spreading the fun to the 3 people who read odfm who don’t read Sit a Spell. I want to know how you all fare. My best so far (and this very well may be my best period… it was a doozy of a minute) is 114 wpm.
So go for it. Click here to take the test, then come back and let me know how you did.
There may even be a prize in it for the winner. How’s that for incentive? A maybe prize!