online diary for the masses

the blog none of your friends are talking about

Category: funny

raising the bar: voicemails

Americans have been leaving audio messages — whether on answering machines or voicemails — for twice as long as I’ve been alive. While the technology that allows these voice messages to exist has evolved over time, the content of said messages has largely gone unchanged: [Answering Machine Picks Up] Hi, you’ve reached [name] and I [...]

Austin and the Tow Truck Lady

Living in a city (as opposed to the burbs) simultaneously provides both its conveniences and woes. Convenience: everything is close which allows people the option of walking or riding a bike from one place to another — something that would be unheard of in most of suburbia. Woe: everything is close, which makes things that [...]

the time I got embarrassed

Having just finished up a meeting with a fellow photographer at The Pearl Cup, I decided to stick around and finish up various Internet-related projects that needed tending to. The time was approximately 10:30 am, the day: Martin Luther King. It seemed as though the whole of Dallas decided to spend this particular part of [...]

I’m too sexy for your party

I’m not real sure what to think about this… I know of at least two employers now (mine and a friend’s) who are blocking odfm for its sexy content. I mean, I’m flattered and all, but we all know I’m not really that sexy.

fitting room fiasco

Instead of spending noontime on Sunday past with my mother and other family members in celebration of Motherhood, circumstances demanded that I be at work (retail knows no weekends, after all). Generally frustrated with the fact that I was spending time at work on my day off, and unsettled by the high employee to customer [...]