There are countless simple pleasures offered by this life that too often go forgotten when I compose lists of things I love. One of these beauties is the activity of skipping rocks. This past weekend found me and several close friends camping at a local lake, where hours were spent enjoying this simple pleasure. It was, in a word, wonderful. You can enlarge the series of photos above to view one of Scott’s successful skips by clicking the picture.

What you see above is a screenshot of a recent email I received confirming my purchase of a pair of running shoes through the wonderful prodeal program at REI. Thanks to prodeals I’m able to order things that cost, oh say, $110, and pay $43.50 for them. It’s great.

And why did I need to buy running shoes?

Because the crackhead people in my life have convinced me to join them in running a marathon.

Yes, that’s right.

An entire marathon.

Not the halfsies.

As in 26.2 miles of running.

I told this to Mikey and he immediately started laughing. No doubt his thoughts went back to Dallas 1.0 when we lived in the Village and once took a light jog around the track frequented by local atheletic residents. That run couldn’t have been a yard longer than 2 miles, and I thought I was surely going to die. So his reaction is very much justified.

The race (which I really shouldn’t call it because, let’s face it, I won’t be competing so much as participating), is in Oklahoma City on the morning of April 26th, 2009. So for those of you who were planning on having breakfast with me that day, make sure to contact me so we can reschedule.

In making this announcement I’m putting myself under the accountability of the entire world. However I doubt seriously that odfm will suddenly turn into a how-I’m-training-for-my-first-marathon blog, so don’t worry about that.

And for those of you who, like Mikey, are laughing at the thought of me running a marathon, or 5 miles for that matter, feel free to leave any and all encouragement of that nature in the comments.

Several months ago I was given the great and humbling opportunity of becoming one of the people who leads the music for the middle schoolers at my beloved church. I gladly took advantage of this chance to serve the body, especially in light of the fact that it was something I’d felt the Father nudging me towards.

This past weekend was mine to lead, and the first since I began at the Village in which I’d be accompanied by a band. I was excited about this tweak to the norm, if for no other reason than knowing the kids would more likely “get in to” or “engage in” the music, simply because of the increased volume.

So the time came for us to get on stage and play the first song. I got the rhythm in my head and started strumming the tried and true G-C-D progression, and four bars later the band came in, full and strong.

At this point in the story, it is important to note one aspect of my view of a “worship leader’s” role. I think their job is far greater than simply playing songs loud enough that people will feel comfortable singing along. I feel strongly that they should, drawing as little attention to themselves as is humanly possible, lead the people they’re playing for in worship. That is to say, they (the leaders) need to be worshiping. Otherwise it is nothing more than a lame concert of (in my case) sub-par musicians playing musically weak songs.

That said, four bars after the band came in it was time for the lyrics to be sung. I peaked down at the mic to know where my mouth should go, closed my eyes, and began to sing to the One who gave me Voice.

“We stand and lift up our hands,
for the Joy of the Lord is our strength”

I went on to sing the rest of the first verse, the pre-chorus, and the chorus, proclaiming the Holiness of God with everything I had. As I strummed a few chords between finishing the chorus and restarting the verse, I glanced up at the crowd.

While I’d love to say that I saw a bunch of kids with their arms raised, singing their hearts out to their Maker, that’s not what I saw. It’s pretty dark in the house and as such it’s hard to see individual faces of kids. It was not, however, hard to see the tall human walking straight towards me, coming up on the stage.

By now, I’d already begun singing again. The tall human (who turned out to be one of the youth workers) had a mic in his hand and was attempting to grab mine out of the stand and replace it with the one in his hand.

At this point, I had put a pause on singing and I realized what was happening. Though I could hear myself clearly in the monitor, apparently my mic wasn’t coming through in the house. Not even a little bit. I’d effectively sung half of an entire song while everyone else in the room watched and wondered what in the world that red-bearded guy on stage was doing.

Great.

I gave a look to the band as if to say “let’s end this as soon as the next G chord comes around”. They got the look, and we ended the song. I looked out towards the kids, and they burst out in the loudest applause I’ve ever heard that group offer.

Scott and I were driving to Stephenville, TX a couple weeks ago, talking about things that we love: things that highten our senses and really make us feel. One of the first things out of his mouth was “rocking chairs.” Within 30 minutes we drove past this.

Several of my precious friends came over on Halloween for a relaxed, no costume required, chill-out hang time. I picked up a pumpkin and carved one of my favorite shapes in its side (without drawing it on first, mind you).

I spent a fall evening in Texas the way thousands do weekly: at a football game. This was special though, as it was Colby Neal Ivey’s final game of the season. A-team lost, B-team got slaughtered. See Colby?

A unexpected phone call from a sweet friend found me walking around my neighborhood where I found the only tree nearby that has caught on to the fact that it should be pretty this time of year.

In celebration of both my birth and the miracle that I have people around me who let me hang out with them, a cookie decorating contest was held. These are the entries that survived their decorators’ sweet teeth. The winner: Motown with the cookie pictured in the bottom right-hand corner. Her prize? The sentence you just read.

November 4th, 2008 was of little concern to me this year. Not long after both parties had chosen their representatives and the campaigning for the election began, I’d resolved that I could not, in good conscience, vote for either of the two major party candidates. I couldn’t not vote, though. That’d be irresponsible (or something). So…

Texas is excellent in nearly every way, and just one small example of how great she is lies in the fact that she allows her residents to vote early. I took full advantage of this luxury by going to the library/senior center/park down the street from my house to cast my ballot. I spent no more than three minutes in line talking with the jolly round volunteer man, and then I was off to the electronic voting booth.

It was there that I realized my great insufficiency. I’d done some research in the days leading up to Early Voting Day 2008. I knew that, if it were an option, I’d have voted for Ron Paul in a heartbeat. However, since it wasn’t, I figured I’d vote for the man he endorsed. In this case, that would mean I’d vote for Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution Party. Not surprisingly, Chuck was not an option on my e-ballot, so I was forced to write him in. Under the title “President” I pressed the fourth option, “other.”

I started typing “C-H-U-C-K-[Space]-B-A-L”… and then I started questioning myself.

“Surely,” I thought, “Baldwin isn’t his last name. It’s not Baldwin, it’s just something like Baldwin. Baldwin is Alec’s last name, not Chuck’s.”

So there I stood for several moments thinking diligently as to what Chuck’s actual last name was. After all my thoughts had come to agreement with each other, they told me that they just weren’t sure what his last name was. I failed.

Defeated, I clicked “Cancel” and went back to the main screen, which gave me not two but three options for President. Since, again, I’d resolved not to vote for either of the big-ticket fella’s, I voted for the only one who wasn’t: Bob Barr, Libertarian.

And that is how I botched up voting in 2008.

*This picture was taken moments after this small disaster occurred. The voting mishap obviously didn’t phase me too severely, judging by the quality of the nap I took on that bench.

We here at online diary for the masses would like to be the first to tell you that Senator Barack Obama will henceforth be referred to as President Obama.

Sure, as of the time of this post’s publication the official results aren’t in yet, but if we waited for those to be in we wouldn’t be first now would we?

So congratuations Barack, from all of us at odfm, on your new job. And congratulations odfm for being so on the ball as to publish such an important article several hours before your competitors, CNN, Fox News, NPR, and BBC.

Facebook etiquette, lesson five.

Adding applications is one of the primary ways people customize their facebook profiles. There are thousands and thousands of different applications from which users can choose. No problem exists in simply adding an application or two to your profile, however it is imperative that applications be added in moderation. And if you are going to abandon what glimmers of moderation you possess when it comes to adding applications, at least set it up so that they aren’t all displayed on your profile.

One of the tackiest things I can recall seeing in all my time on the Internet was the facebook profile of a girl who had no less than 35 different applications. It took several minutes of scrolling on the wheel of my mouse to reach the bottom of her page where her wall was buried under a mountain of unnecessary applications.

Just as one must use discernment in how many applications they add to their pages, so too they must use discernment in inviting friends (especially friends who they don’t really know) to use those applications. No I do not want to add Monsters or Goblins or lil’ Green Patch applications. Senseless facebook users abuse this rule, tirelessly. The girl mentioned above has so offended me by the vomit-esque look of her profile and the tackiness of her application suggestions, she has since been forever removed from my facebook friendship.

So, easy on asking your friends to join you in your poor taste in application choices.

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And with that, you’ve successfully finished D.O.’s course in facebook etiquette. In case you missed a lesson, here’s the recap:

• Intro
• Wall posting
• Friend Adding
• Chatting
• Messaging
• Applications

And depending on the response to this series of posts (millions of hits? thousands of comments? a few book offers?) there may be more of these types of posts to come in the future.

Now go, log in to your facebook and take confidence in your actions. If you’ve not yet joined facebook, do so today and start acting properly right off the bat. It won’t go unnoticed, at least not by me.

Facebook etiquette, lesson four.

Messaging is facebook’s version of email. No one can see the messages you write except the recipient… unless you fail to properly reply to the very well-known “I’m-getting-married-and-I-need-your-address” or “I-dropped-my-phone-in-the-toilet-again-and-I-need-your-number” messages — possibly the most common of all broken facebook etiquette actions.

Not only is this unwritten facebook standard so commonly broken, it is also uncannily easy to break, because the way facebook has their messaging set up. As it is, when you click to reply in the box below the mass message you just received, it defaults to sending that message to everyone who originally received it, not just the sender.

So what do you do? To reply only to the address/phone-number-needer, just click “reply” beneath their name in the message (directly left of the message body). This way only they will get it. And this should be done regardless of if you’re concerned with other people seeing your addy or digits. It is courteous to other facebook users to do so because it prevents them logging in, seeing the “Inbox 1″ in the header, and being sorely disappointed to find that it is nothing other than a random person’s street address.

Ladies, it is wise to make a special effort to avoid replying to all in situations like these, to ensure that no creepy guy on that mass recipient list ends up with your address.

As is true with any form of communication, it is in keeping with proper etiquette to reply to messages when appropriate. However, it is less of an offense to not reply to a facebook message than to not reply to an email. That doesn’t mean you should ignore all of your facebook messages and the requests and inquiries therein, but it does mean that if you want to ensure something gets addressed, press Ctrl+T (or Command+T) and compose an email. Don’t have that person’s email? Yes you do. You’re on facebook.

Tomorrow’s lesson: applications.

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Just hopped on the etiquette fun-van? Here’s the stops you’ve missed:

• Intro
• Wall posting
• Friend Adding
• Chatting
• Messaging

Facebook etiquette, lesson three.

Chatting, like wall posting, is relatively easy to avoid botching up.

As is the theme in nearly all facebook faux pas, chat misconduct most often occurs in the boy/girl relationships. Because facebook chatting is arguably the least personal of all forms of communication, guys typically take full advantage of using it to talk to girls with whom they’d otherwise be afraid to converse. While logical, this mentality is also quite childish.

I’ve heard several girls complain about boys who refuse to stop chatting with them every time they sign on to facebook. It is important for the guys executing these persistent (read: annoying) chat attempts to know that they aren’t doing themselves any favors and the girls are not impressed. This problem can be solved, from the girl’s perspective, in a couple of ways: either don’t sign in to chat at all, or refuse to reply to the pushy (creepy) boy’s chat attempts. He’ll just think you aren’t there, or even better, he’ll get a clue.

Another great way to break proper chat conduct would be to add someone as a friend that you now know you weren’t supposed to add in the first place (remember yesterday’s lesson?), then proceed to engage in chats with them on a regular basis. Chances are they’ll quickly regret having accepted your friend request.

Both of those mishaps fail to amount to the atrocity that is asking a girl out on facebook chat (or on her wall, or in messaging). This is nothing other than unacceptable. Man up. Please. And girls, maybe you need to woman up and refuse the requests of little boys who ask you out on facebook. Don’t validate their weak ways and their setting the how-to-pursue-girls bar so low.

Now, this isn’t to say that there are no times when chatting on facebook is appropriate. There are times, like when you’re on break at work, but it is important that one uses discretion in utilizing this relatively new (and arguably unnecessary) facebook feature.

Tomorrow’s lesson: messaging.

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Just hopped on the etiquette fun-van? Here’s the stops you’ve missed:

• Intro
• Wall posting
• Friend Adding
• Chatting

Facebook etiquette class, session two.

Friend adding may seem like a topic that needs no addressing, but that couldn’t be further from true, as it is abused on a regular basis.

There are, of course, times when it is absolutely acceptable to add a friend. For example, a co-worker may have recently joined facebook. Or maybe a new friend of a friend has been hanging out with your group lately. Even coming upon close high school friends can be an acceptable time to click “Add as Friend.”*

Conversely, there are certainly times when adding someone as a friend is just uncalled for. The worst of these is adding someone who you’ve never met in your life (regardless of how many mutual friends you have). Just because someone pops up in the “People You May Know” sidebar doesn’t give you the liberty to add them. And if you are so licentious as to add someone you don’t know, don’t you dare be upset when they ignore your friend request. They did the right thing.

Another serious offense to friend adding etiquette is adding people you met one night, and very well may never see again. This mainly applies to single college and post-college kids. They are especially prone to get “add happy” after an enjoyable night with new (cute) people. If you are going to add the ten new people you’ve just met, at least be decent enough to wait until a day or two after the fact. Coming home to a friend request from someone you just left hanging out with is a little much.

There are also some areas in the realm of friend adding in which the jury is still out. One particular area is that of girls adding guys they don’t know very well. This is especially questionable when done the night of or the day following their initial meeting in person.

Another gray area in the friend adding realm is asking people their full names when meeting them in person with the sole purpose of using that information to find them on facebook. Facebook is certainly a valid avenue through which people can connect with one another, but users must be wise in making sure they don’t abuse this excellent resource. If it seems creepy, it probably is. If you don’t think any of the points addressed seem creepy, then chances are you’re creepy.

Lastly, a topic that is both related and entirely opposed to friend adding: friend removing. This is a pretty big deal in an age where facebook friendships=real friendships. Acceptable times to remove friends are:

- Realizing you had a lapse in judgment and accepted a friend request from someone you didn’t know at all or haven’t seen since you first met
- In the unfortunate event of someone doing one of your boys (or girls) very, very dirty
- The person you’re removing sends you several requests a day for friend suggestions and applications (to be discussed on Friday).

Tomorrow’s lesson: chatting.

*This really should be used in moderation… I have no desire to be friends with most of the 800+ people in my graduating class.

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Just hopped on the etiquette fun-van? Here’s the stops you’ve missed:

• Intro
• Wall posting
• Friend Adding